People always ask me why am I always smiling...why I seem to always be so happy. My response has usually been some non-chalant gesture about remaining positive; but the fact of the matter is, I smile because after years of tears and heartbreak, I have earned it. If you met me now you would think that I was one of the popular and cool kids (whatever that means) in grade school. But that is almost completely the opposite to some degree. In high school, I was teased, ate lunch alone in the Career Center on most days, and never had a single date during my entire four years. The last two years of high school was when I met a few dear friends that enable me to venture beyond the confines of the Career Center during lunch and out into the infamous quad. But, the feelings of not being enough still incapacitated me to some degree. I always wonder, and still do at times, why couldn't others see the greatness that was placed on the inside of me. Why wasn't I given the same chance as those that pranced around in droves, subconciously disregarding the presence of "nerds" like me.
That was then and this is now. Now, I have learned that nothing or no one can define my worth. I have learned that for every one person that doesn't like me or doesn't get who I am, there is someone else that will. I have learned that for everything there is a season. I have learned that the cycle of life and death for all things is just that, a cycle. One minute you can think you are on top of the world and the next minute you can be beneath it. You never know who the nerd sitting in the Career Center eating their lunch alone will turn out to be. I recently ran into a guy from my distant past that I had a crush on. He actually dissed me in high school, but when he saw me now...let's just say he wanted to kiss me. What did I do, I just smiled. I'm not yet to the place where God has ordained for me to be, but as my mom would say, I have come a mighty long way!
There is a song on Alicia Keys' new cd that I have been playing at break points during my writing sessions. It is titled "Wait Til They See Your Smile." To me, it relays the message of getting to that ultimate place after you've been through hell and being able to smile. Not a day-to-day smile, but the type of smile that comes after you have made it through that breaking point! Listen to it and read the lyrics, you are sure to get inspired, I hope. I can't wait for you to see my smile and I can't wait to see yours!
Song lyrics
Wait Til You See My Smile lyrics
That was then and this is now. Now, I have learned that nothing or no one can define my worth. I have learned that for every one person that doesn't like me or doesn't get who I am, there is someone else that will. I have learned that for everything there is a season. I have learned that the cycle of life and death for all things is just that, a cycle. One minute you can think you are on top of the world and the next minute you can be beneath it. You never know who the nerd sitting in the Career Center eating their lunch alone will turn out to be. I recently ran into a guy from my distant past that I had a crush on. He actually dissed me in high school, but when he saw me now...let's just say he wanted to kiss me. What did I do, I just smiled. I'm not yet to the place where God has ordained for me to be, but as my mom would say, I have come a mighty long way!
There is a song on Alicia Keys' new cd that I have been playing at break points during my writing sessions. It is titled "Wait Til They See Your Smile." To me, it relays the message of getting to that ultimate place after you've been through hell and being able to smile. Not a day-to-day smile, but the type of smile that comes after you have made it through that breaking point! Listen to it and read the lyrics, you are sure to get inspired, I hope. I can't wait for you to see my smile and I can't wait to see yours!
Song lyrics
Wait Til You See My Smile lyrics
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Are you kidding me?!! We are talking about a bunch of dim-witted, nincompoops that overly insecure and hid it by striving for popularity. In high school most people's attention-spand allowed them to think long enough to focus on looking better than others (so they thought), having the most FAKE friends and making others feel bad so they could feel better about their miserable selves; only to find that, in the REAL WORLD, after the three organized daily meals and living under the supervision of parents... your intellect is all that matters. I bet, most (if not all) of the so-called "cool kids" are pathetic losers with multiple children, excessive weight gain, and living on government hand-outs, complaining about the hand life dealt them. You on the other hand are a successful, beautiful, intelligent, woman with an even more beautiful spirit and you add joy to the lives of those blessed enough to cross your path. I bet that guy did want to kiss you and you should have turned your back to him, bent over and let him. LMBO! I for one am happy to have met your acquaintance. So yes... you are and should be proud of being... a NERD (Noble, Educated, Rambunctious and Devoted)!
SMILE 'TIL IT HURTS!
Keelonnie! I love how you made NERD an acronym! Definitely going to use that one! Yes, you are absolutely correct in your response. It's funny how people can make you remember things about the past...he did that for me and made me realize just how important it is to assert who you are despite what others may think!
Thanks for your read and response. I, too, am happy to have you a part of my life!
Keisha
Your blog ( Wait Til They See Your Smile), brought tears to my eyes but it also have brought a smile on my face. Sometimes we have to live the life in order to talk about it. But in my eyes you have always been a wonderful person even as a child. when I first met you, I thought you were nice, cute and of course so smart,a person with a heart of gold. And if anyone know you today you are still that way. That is why I love my Keisha with all my heart. You are very blessed. Love you lots. Charlenie.
Awe, Charlenie! Thank you so much for the read and for the comment! I love you too and can't wait to be able to do more things in my life that will help put a smile on your face!