Oprah usually talks about "aha" moments. You know, the moments when you come into the realization of some thing or some one? Well, since my last post, I have had several of these moments and what they have made me realize is that life, my life, is a perception of what I deem to be my reality. Reality. Reality is defined as something that is neither derivative nor dependent but exists necessarily. So these past couple of weeks, as I toiled to write and understand the nature of my reality, I asked myself this simple question:
What has a necessary existence in my life?
The answers to this question changed the very perception of my reality...changed the very thoughts that underlined my last couple blog posts. You see, a part of me had begun to operate out of a place of desperation and uncertainty. I was not looking at the necessary existences of my life, but rather the un-necessary non-existences. In other words, I was looking at all the things that weren't there and not seeing what was there. The answers to the question posed came to me as this:
Experiences that have proved that prayer and faith are real.
Having a close relationship with my family despite differences and moments of test and trial.
Having a group of friends that support and encourage me.
Being able to laugh, even at situations that once brought tears.
Being able to love, even after feeling the angst of a broken heart.
Harnessing a creative spirit in everything that I do.
Learning from experiences and being able to share with others.
Gaining the opportunity to enjoy adventures that I once only dreamed of.
I saw that these answers were my reality because they were the necessary existence to my life. That, along with the wonderful comments sent to me by readers of my blog, has steered me back toward the road to my success. I have or will get every thing and every one planned for my life, so there is no need to live in a place of desperation or want. To do so means that I am operating from a place of lack (as my sister pointed out to me). I am not a "starving" writer, I am "star" writer. I am not "waiting" in line, I am "creating" lines. I am not "poorly" busy, I am "richly" blessed.
I still may share random pieces of my debut novel with you in the coming weeks, but I am putting the axe to my plan to solicit donations. Not because I wouldn't welcome it from you, but because the universe has already welcomed me.
Thank you Gwennie, Keelonnie, Jen, Dkwon, Toni, and all the anonymous readers that encourage me daily!
|
:]
Keep on going girl!! Your writing is great!! I'm hooked...